Anger, aggression and resentment are like robbers, stealing our ability to love and care. They make us reactive or defensive, till we definitely don’t want to wish that person well.

Whilst it is important to acknowledge our hurt, clinging to negative emotions creates anxiety and drains our energy. Keeping the negativity alive by replaying the drama over and over again in our minds, we justify ourselves and soon become a not-so-good person.

Is it possible to turn this negativity around, relax and wish our accused well? Sounds tricky, but it can make our difficulties much more bearable. How do we do this?

When you’re in a good mood, it’s tough for you to harm or hurt anyone. You even take the time to get an insect out of the basin. But if you’re stressed or in an awful mood, you are not careful enough to save it from going down the drain.

Though it is difficult to believe as no one really wants to be hurt, it is true. When someone hurts you, you are unconsciously allowing them to have an emotional grip over you.

Make the decision that you will not react to anyone with negativity yourself. Do not allow their words to get the better of you. Respect yourself.

Pointing fingers at others is easy, but no conflict is totally one-sided. So think over what you did to add fuel to the fire. Even when you feel you are 100% right – look to see your role in it.

It doesn’t mean being a doormat that allows others to trample over you. It means releasing the negativity sooner than you did before and substituting it with compassion. Like an oyster that dislikes the grain of sand in its shell, but manages to transform it into a valuable pearl.

Meditation takes the heat out of things and calms you down, so you don’t overreact. You can focus on the person you are in conflict with and say: ‘May you be well. May you be happy. May all things go well for you.’